January 15, 2004

The Internet Woo-Woo Credo

How to be an Internet Woo--Woo in 41 easy steps... bq. #1) - Never look for the simplest, most obvious cause of something. Refrain from mentioning Occam's Razor (it's your nemesis). bq. #2) - Always favor the conspiracy angle over the boring angle. Mundane explanations (like saying that Roswell was a balloon) are for dullards and government drones. If you want to sleep with that curvaceous new-age chick, don't tell her you think astrology is bogus! (Non woo-woos may benefit from that advice temporarily). bq. #3) - Don't accept mainstream science unless it's something you've believed in for years (like gravity). bq. #4) - Try to answer as few direct questions as possible. Always obfuscate and try to sound learned. Mimic Richard Hoagland's style and you'll go far. bq. #5) - Use "what if" scenarios to change the subject whenever possible. If you linger on one topic too long you may be asked to provide annoying things like "proof." Don't let that happen! Consult a creationist if you need practice with subject-changing. And there are 36 more at the website. Enjoy! Posted by DaveH at January 15, 2004 9:41 AM