January 5, 2008

The Three Laws of Robotics - revisited by Warren Ellis

Hat tip to BoingBoing for this wonderful link:
The Three Laws of Robotics
Robots couldn�t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? �Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn�t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.� Shut the fuck up.

Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don�t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they�re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don�t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.

What, you can�t count higher than three? We�re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It�s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.
Heh... We must submit to our new Robot Overlords. Posted by DaveH at January 5, 2008 4:21 PM
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