May 20, 2008

Common knowledge - 25 secrets

From Dave Johnston's site:
EXCLUSIVE: Secret Common Sense Knowledge Revealed
I’ve been living with secret knowledge for close to 31 years.

There is an elite group of individuals that exists largely under the radar of regular society. This group often meets under a cloak of secrecy, frequently staying under assumed names at places like the Holiday Inn Express in Rensselaer, Indiana.

The group, which has yet to be identified by name, exists to serve only one purpose:
“To advance the closely-guarded secret common sense knowledge that allows only a select few to succeed at everyday life.”

I became an official member of this group on November 23, 1989, when I was hastily pulled out of the crowd while attending WWF Survivor Series in Rosemont, Illinois and rushed into a nearby hotel bar to learn my fate. I was only 12 years old, but was informed that I had been chosen to learn these secrets from the moment I was born. My life has never been the same. It is a heavy burden to carry.

Today, because I simply cannot keep them a secret for one more day, I reveal the first 25 common sense facts about everyday life:
Wow - such courage. Here are the first five:
#1) - If you don’t pay for your house, they take it back.
#2) - If you buy a house that you cannot afford, you will not be able to pay for it (See also: #1).
#3) - Everything is paid for, even free downloads. Or free healthcare.
#4) - You do not have an inalienable right to not be offended.
#5) - Smaller portions of crap is still crap. So is crap with whole grain.
Too many people need to be told this... Posted by DaveH at May 20, 2008 9:07 PM | TrackBack
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