March 16, 2004

Open letter to Spain

Steven DenBeste linked to this Open Letter to Spain and I thought it was good enough to share in its entirety: bq. Dear Mr. Jose Blanco: bq. Sir, I humbly submit to you, that it is bad form for a nation to advertise its complete pussification. bq. In case you never studied the psychology of bullies - which would be odd considering you call all your opponents fascists, so either you or they actually are bullies - in case you never studied them, they are weak and they only seem strong because they prey on weakness. bq. Hence, it's bad policy to advertise your weakness widely and publicly, especially right after a bully pops you a good one. The bully may take that as notice that you are ripe for attack; and that you are in fact inviting him to use your face as a chair. bq. The proper response to a bully, in case you weren't aware, involves scorched earth. I learned this in grade school. When the bully hits you, fight back. Knock a tooth out, if you can. Kick him in the Giloolies. Jump him and sucker punch him if you have to. Scare up a fungo bat, or a C- battery in a sock. Whatever it takes. bq. If you let a bully get away with it, you will be his bitch both in his mind, and in yours. Then it's over, bitch. bq. One other thing. If you are having trouble with a bully, don't stand up, call your friends immoral, stupid and dangerous lunatics, and drive them away after the bully has popped you one. Especially don't do this if the bully has said he's going to wipe you out and take all your shit, and make your girlfriend his girlfriend. And really, truly especially don't do this if your friends are just about the only people around who actually enjoy beating the fuck out of bullies. bq. That's all I gots. Unlike you, I'm a simplistic American. No sophistication, no smarts, no culture, no couth, and one less friend than yesterday. But you know, for all that, I have one thing: I know that a punch in the gob from a man sworn to eviscerate you is a punch in the gob's worth of forplay for a real screwing over, not a rough, affectionate kiss. And knowing that has gotta be worth something. I'll tell you how much in a year or two, when you are looking for some way to capitulate to Al Qaida's next demand. Kind of sums it up... Posted by DaveH at March 16, 2004 8:58 AM