October 24, 2004

Comment Spam

One of the joys of running a blog is that people will add comments to the posts. One of the not-so-joyous aspects is that these comments can be advertisements for commercial websites. These people are either getting people to read the comment or are jockeying for a high position in Google's Page Ranking System (for a given search term, the more web sites that mention that term and have a given URL, the higher that URL gets ranked). One of the more prolific (on this site) uses a name of Bob(and some number) at a phony Yahoo email account. Michelle at A Small Victory also has problems and delivered a fine rant on the topic: bq. An open letter to my most prolific comment spammer Dear bob (this could go to angrry girl as well): bq. I was thinking about both of you as I deleted the comment spam you left on my site during the night and I got to wondering about your chosen career path. bq. Let's say you make ten cents for every spam comment you leave. Does your boss know that just minutes, even seconds, after you leave that comment, it's deleted? I'm thinking that if the company you work for checks on your work at all, they would see no evident of the hard, long hours you put it informing the masses about granny porn and pocket bikes and you'd end up with a whopping paycheck of about thirty cents. Is it worth it? bq. And there's the other thing. See, no one really reads those old post you're leaving the comments on. Oh, I know that you're only doing it so your boss's website gets the high Google ranking, but doesn't it ever make you feel just a little bit sad that you're spending the time putting in these well thought out comments (great site! thanks for the info!) and the 47 links to dogs getting it on with grade D porn stars and no one is reading them? Does it make you feel empty inside? Just a little? bq. I was also thinking about your social lives. Bob, what do you say to a pretty young thing that you're trying to pick up in the corner bar after a hard day's work spamming blogs? When she asks you what you do for a living, do you fib just a bit and tell her that you're a publicist or a promoter? What if you get her in bed and she ends up falling in love with you (thanks to the free viagra you get from your company) and she wants to know more about your job? I can imagine the look on her face when you tell her that the publicizing you do consists of trolling weblog comments with promotions for lactating shemale porn. Unless, of course, the girl you end up bedding goes by the name of angrrygirl. Or she's really a lactating shemale. Then you're golden. bq. I suppose it takes all types to keep our economy going. But it can't do much for your self-esteem to know that you're among the bottom feeders of the workforce, right alongside telemarketers and bill collectors. bq. I almost feel sorry for you, that you were forced to choose such a disgraceful career path, but I have to wonder what led you to this juncture. There's a root cause for everything, bob, and someday we'll get to the bottom of why you think comment spammer is a good job choice. And maybe someday, we'll figure out why the people who pay you think it is worth doing so, when everything they pay you for disappears so quickly. Or why they think that people in the market for a second mortgage are going to use the first company that pops up on Excite to get one. bq. Well, if you're ever in town, let me know. I'd like to buy you a drink. Hah, no. What I'd like to do is hog tie you and hang you from my ceiling. Then, I'd invite every spam weary blogger over for drinks and, when they're drunk enough, I'll pass out sticks and yell Pinata time! bq. Don't say you didn't have that coming, bob. I know that deep down inside, you feel shame. Make the break today. Leave the seedy world of comment spam behind. Stop making the baby jesus cry. bq. Sincerely, M Heh... Talk about speaking Truth to Power Posted by DaveH at October 24, 2004 9:17 PM