July 16, 2005

A $100,000 bet

Frm Maxim Online comes this story of a high-stakes gambler and one of the more unusual bets in history:
The Man With the $100,000 Breasts
Close your eyes and try to remember the wildest dare you ever accepted. Now open them and meet one twisted son of a bitch who’s got you beat by 38 inches.

When I first met Brian Zembic, he was living in a bathroom. This was not because he couldn’t afford to live in an apartment with a bedroom. It was because a couple of his degenerate gambling buddies bet him 14 grand that he couldn’t stay in a bathroom for 30 days straight.

I’d been hearing about Brian for months. A gambler friend of mine described him as “an animal, a guy who’d do anything to win a bet.” Finding him, however, hadn’t been easy. Brian doesn’t have a permanent address; he’s always jumping to another motel, another apartment, another country. It took me a month just to get him on the phone.

On a sizzling day in Las Vegas, I finally track him down. Brian is six days into the bathroom bet, and he’s going a little stir-crazy. It’s a nice bathroom, as far as bathrooms go, carpeted, brightly lit, bordering on spacious. But it’s still a bathroom. Brian’s allowed to keep the door open but prohibited from crossing the threshold into the adjoining hallway; a housekeeper brings him sandwiches whenever he yells for her. There’s a row of $100 bills on the mirror; each day Brian tapes another to the glass, a little way of reminding himself how much he’s earning during this self-imposed sentence. He spends most of his time reading and practicing magic tricks, which are occupations that could keep him busy for a month, no problem. But now, Brian explains, unforeseen circumstances are weakening his resolve: “Joey—one of the guys who made the wager with me—he owns the apartment, and he’s been sending people over here to take dumps. It’s brutal.”

Four days later his buddies cave in and buy Brian out of the bet for $7,000. “I didn’t think he’d do it,” Joey admits shortly after paying Brian off with a thick stack of hundreds. “I wouldn’t do it. You wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t imagine anybody with half a brain staying in a bathroom for a goddamn month. I thought it was a good bet.”
And the bet in question:
On this particular night, Brian’s engaged in a passionate debate with his buddy Jobo, one of the most avid backgammon players who’s ever lived. Jobo tends to express his opinions with a stolid certainty that does not invite contradiction. Tonight he’s yammering on about how crazy it is that women get breast implants. How, in the hopes of attracting men, they actually jam big bags of salt water under their skin.

Brian suggests that getting implants probably isn’t so bad. “Look at Maggie,” he says, referring to a mutual friend with a sizable breast job. “She seems pretty happy with her boobs.”

“You think so?” Jobo asks. “Is that what you think? How’d you like it if you had to walk around with those things all day?”

At that Brian leans back in his chair and starts laughing. But everyone else in the club goes quiet, because they know that Jobo is not a man who likes to be laughed at. After a few seconds, Jobo lays his hands flat on the table and gives Brian a hard look. “Tell you what, pal,” Jobo says. “I’d give you a hundred thousand if you got a set.”

Now, a hundred grand to Jobo isn’t going to change his life one way or another. He plays backgammon matches against Saudi sheiks for stakes nearly that high; so Brian knows Jobo isn’t bullshitting. But $100,000 to Brian Zembic—$100,000 for not working—well, that’s the mother lode.

“How big would they have to be?” Brian asks.

“Big as Maggie’s,” says Jobo. Maggie’s breasts, it must be noted, are 38C.

They hammer out the wager’s fine points: Brian’s responsible for the surgery costs. Jobo will put the $100,000 prize in escrow. To collect, Brian has to keep the implants in for a year.

“You know I’m crazy enough to do it,” Brian more or less announces to the room. Jobo just shakes his head. “No you’re not. Nobody’s that crazy.”
It turns out that he was that crazy and he went and had the operation. There are a few strange twists and turns to the story -- visit the website for the entire thing.
Zembic.jpg
Posted by DaveH at July 16, 2005 1:02 PM