Responsible Pet Ownership
Mr. Right at
The Right Place offers a good guide to keeping Moonbats as pets:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Moonbats
It has come to our attention here at The Right Place that many people foolishly purchased moonbats as pets for themselves or their children during this holiday season. While the appeal of keeping these hideously ugly, ill-tempered, high-pitched screeching wonders of nature as housepets truly eludes us, we hope to perform a public service by presenting these helpful tips for caring for your new pet, courtesy of the world's foremost moonbat expert, Dr. Wayne Bruce:The Responsible Pet Owner
The first, most important thing for all responsible moonbat owners to do is to have their pets spayed or neutered immediately to help control the moonbat population. This is especially important during election cycles, as they tend to go into heat at such times. Attempts to increase their numbers can be loud, obnoxious and quite dangerous to civilized societies. Remember, the world has more than enough moonbats already, so be responsible and help us to keep their numbers in check.
A Brief History of the Moonbat in the Wild
The common moonbat, or lunaris vespertilio, was first catalogued as a species during the 1960s, when it was found primarily in large, colorful, and quite smelly colonies on or near college campuses across the United States. Sometimes referred to as "Hippies", they also frequently migrated in large numbers to various fields and stadiums, usually drawn by the lure of psychedelic rock music or very bad folk singing and the smell of burning rope. Though their numbers have dwindled somewhat since then, they are, unfortunately for society, not yet ready for the endangered species list. Over the years, they have shifted from nesting inside college dorms to faculty lounges and the studios of many mass media outlets with alarming ease. Many have even found their way into government offices, where they can be especially dangerous and hard to get rid of! Attempts to control the moonbat population have met with only moderate success, but many moonbats will surprisingly enough, with time, evolve into something resembling a human being. Unfortunately, though, many do not manage this metamorphosis, and these are what we sometimes call "Deaniacs", "Kossacks", "DUmmies", or more simply, "Fruitcakes".
Caution -- multiple drink alert -- go and read the rest...
Posted by DaveH at January 2, 2006 7:02 PM