May 18, 2006

Drawing Blood

Great post by Dr. Charles:
The Charles Sign
He was strong like the others. A thick neck. A scar on his forehead. Knuckles that squeezed my hand like a nutcracker. “How’s it goin’?” he asked.

“Good, good. Nice to meet you,” I said.

I heard his neck cracking as he rolled it right, back, left, center. “Do I need bloodwork today?” he asked in a gruff voice, the muscles of his mandible clenching like accessory biceps. Even his face was ripped.

“Yeah, usually we do bloodwork for new patients,” I said in my lower voice, the one reserved for alpha males. It is a good octave lower than the one I use for frail old ladies.

The man’s spine straightened. He cracked his knuckles. Suddenly he looked queasy. “I freakin’ hate needles, man.”

We talked about his past medical history, his father’s heart disease, his mother’s depression. He denied having any symptoms. Of anything. No headaches. No dizziness. No tingling. No problems with peeing or pooping. Not even an occasional headache.

“I do get some pain in my right shoulder,” he finally recalled. “Old hockey injury, you know?”

I knew. I started blabbing about hockey. He blabbed back. The blabbing was good. Manly good.
Read the rest of his post for a great story. The Charles Sign reads as follows:
All male patients who’ve spent any significant time playing football, have a neck size greater than 17 (due to muscle not fat), enjoy riding Harley motorcycles with loud exhaust systems while wearing black leather jackets emblazoned with images of death/skulls/ and/or winged beasts, or whose general outward projection of identity could constitute that of an alpha male ― MUST LIE DOWN TO PREVENT FAINTING. Thank you.
Heh... Haven't fainted yet but I share the guy's love of needles. Posted by DaveH at May 18, 2006 8:52 PM
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