September 27, 2008

Pain and Politics

Bill Whittle is back again at National Review Online comparing Kidney stones with the present economic crisis.
Pain
The economy is passing a kidney stone. Here�s one man�s guide to survival.

Last Friday I was wrapping up my last day as the editor on Shootout. Five years, and 180 episodes, and I�d never missed a single one. They had hidden a cake with GOOD LUCK, BILL! for my surprise going-away party.

Just before noon I felt a little ... something. Five minutes later it felt like someone had punched me in the left kidney � hard. I went back to the edit bay to lie down for a moment. Things got a little better, then worse, then much worse. And then someone said they were going to drive me to the hospital.
He gets some pain medicine with little effect and then, three hours later he finally gets something that works:
I was reduced to simply mewling, and at about 3:30 P.M., the doctor went away for 15 minutes and when he came back he gave me a shot of Dilaudid, which is the name I will give to my first child, male or female.
And then the revelations start:
So imagine my delight, ten minutes later, to see the hallway door melt away as room was filled with unicorns! Little cartoon unicorns, each with a silky mane of bright blue or green or pink ... and when they giggled � which was continuously � they would lift up their little tails and rainbows would emerge. And in that one wonderful moment as my eyes rolled back and the white-hot light faded away and vanished � in that blissful instant I suddenly understood with perfect clarity the whole Hope and Change thing. I had gone from the horrible, nasty, mean Republican America to the other America. And it�s a much better place, it really is.
And then the reality starts:
Do you want to know what my honest-to-God first thought was when the pain got manageable enough to be able to hold a thought? I tell you: I thought of John McCain. And I�ll tell you what hit me the hardest: not his pain lasted for five years when mine lasted for four hours. But to add to that raw fear, lying in filth and knowing that those footsteps in the hall would bring not relief but more pain ... my God! When I think about those men on those fields from Bunker Hill to Baghdad, lying there for hours, awaiting rescue and relief that often simply never came ... I end up � and I don�t expect any of you to actually believe this � I end up grateful for those few hours.
And one more:
Here was my second thought: I would like to kiss the hand of those evil, greedy, horrible KKKorporations that made and tested Demerol and Dilaudid and the ultrasound sensor and clean needles and sterile IV bags and all the rest of it. I know they�re the villains of courtroom novels and Michael Moore movies and thus are wicked, greedy, soulless Nazis � but if I met a single one of them I would kiss their hands and feet in gratitude. And it did not elude me, when that blinding light finally went out and I felt good again, that my Moral Superiors who protest and vilify these companies at every turn have not � in point of fact � ever done a single thing to relieve my pain or anyone else�s. Nor could any of those murdering, Seventh-century barbarians we are fighting do so much as carve a block of wood to look like that ultrasound sensor. No, pain has been here forever, and when you strip all the plasma TV�s and jet travel and iPhones away you are left with the brass tacks: It takes civilization to remove pain, and Western Civilization to actually fix what�s causing it, more often than not. And that is another thing I try never to forget. And I had a final thought ...
Bill then segues into the financial crisis and has a couple very good observations. Read his entire essay -- it is worth the five minutes or so of your time. Posted by DaveH at September 27, 2008 5:36 PM
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