July 23, 2011

A list with 27 items

From Adaptive Curmudgeon:
Things You Need To Know Before You Buy The Farm
There�s no obvious word for what I do. I have a homestead and aim for self reliance�but I still have a day job. Is that �homesteading�? Who knows? Homesteading is a spectrum between Grizzly Adams and the banker�s deluded trophy wife who hires illegal aliens to plant tomatoes for her. I haven�t gone as self-reliant as I�d like but that�s probably good. It keeps me from going too Mosquito Coast and/or starving in a mud hut.

Another thing to know; it�s a bigger challenge than you think. Too many lessons are learned the hard way, most of what you read is bullshit, and half of what you actually know won�t apply to your situation.

I probably don�t know what I�m doing but I do know plenty of stuff that�s wrong. I�m always happy to help folks avoid obvious pitfalls (many of which I�ve experienced first hand). So I�ve written an unordered and incomplete list of things you need to know if you�d like to homestead.
1.You have much less money than you think.
2.Don�t quit your day job. See #1.
3.Baby skunks are the sweetest cutest little fluffballs you�ve ever seen. Shoot them; in the head.
4.Every redneck with a spare acre of overgrazed farmland will put a cow on it. If you automatically buy a cow, you may be a redneck. If you ponder the best use of your pasture you may be on the path to homesteading. If you buy a llama you�re doomed.
5.If deer eat your garden; eat the deer. Humanity evolved to be a bad ass. Rise to the occasion.
6.Hippies, God bless them, become a lot more realistic after raccoons kill their chickens and the pipes freeze.
7.Squirrels, birds, snakes, and other woodland creatures enjoy ruining your plans. It is your job to demonstrate your superior position on the evolutionary ladder. After a while they�ll learn that you�re not nature�s bitch and back off. Unless you are; in which case they�ll take over your house and party like the Green Bay Packers on acid.
8.Get this month�s copy of Mother Earth News. Then burn it.
9.Jackie Clay is smarter than you.
10.Tools, chainsaws, buckets, mauls� you need a whole lotta� shit to reduce materialism. Go figure.
That is the first ten -- 17 more at the site... Posted by DaveH at July 23, 2011 10:18 PM
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